I get it. It is a challenge trying to learn about your child’s day at school. It is even more troublesome when it feels like you are interrogating your child and not having enjoyable conversation.
Wouldn’t it be great if your child approached you to talk about their day at school instead of you grilling them ?
I understand the feeling. I had tried countless approaches as well. Until I made these adjustments in my style, my conversation with my twins was a one way street.
Let me share my secrets with you:
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Allow idle time so that conversation flow naturally:
Allow for distraction free idle time with your child on regular bases, even if it is only 10 minutes at a time. This habit starts building bond and trust for the child that you are open for anything that they wish to talk. Taking a walk around the block on most evenings after dinner has done the magic for us. This is the time when both my kids start talking about their day at school. We heard some wildest stories about their school day during our evening walks that otherwise we would have never heard had we tried to inquire. May be evening walk do not fit in your schedule but the point is to create a habit where you have idle time with your child.
Listen to your child without passing judgement or jumping to provide advice:
As a parent you may find something very silly but it is a big deal for the child. Take it at its face value. Listen and empathize with them instead of passing judgement.
It bothers me when I hear some parent saying “my child is such a drama queen”. It reminds me of this quote I read : “I am not giving you hard time, I am having hard time”
Ask your child about what she is fond of or not at all fond of:
School is not easy on kids. Its a long day and lot is happening that overwhelm them. School is possibly the last thing they want to talk about. Considering this situation, what topics can be a great conversation starters?
Any topic that will invokes most emotion will be a good conversation starter. For example a child or a thing that your kid is either most fond of or not at all fond of will easily get the conversation going. Your child will love to talk about it and will also appreciate your interest in their life. This has been by far my most successful trick to hear about my child’s day most elaborately.
Hoping you will find these techniques helpful. Do you have your own special tricks to get your child to talk about their day? I would love to hear about them. Do drop me a comment.
I leave you with this quote from Barbara Johnson:
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